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AWESOMEAUGER
2 min read
SUP BITCHES, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE AWESOME AUGER. DO YOU HAVE LOTS OF DIRT THAT NEEDS TO GET PULLED UP?THEN BUY SOME OF THESE GOD DAMN AUGERS. THIS SHIT COULD CLEAN THE WARTS OFF YOUR SISTER'S VAGINA.CAUSE THERE WON'T FUCKING BE ONE WHEN I'M DONE WITH THAT BITCH. YOU COULD FUCKING USE AN AUGER ON YOUR DICK AND IT WOULD GROW 3 INCHES, FUCK.
IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A GODDAMN NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT SHIT AND BUY SIX OF THESE FUCKING AUGERS AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND A POWER DRILL. WHAT IS A POWER DRILL?YOU BEST BE JOKING, NIGGER. THOSE FUCKING DRILLS CAN GIVE YOUR BITCH THE NIGHT OF HER LIFE. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU SHARPEN YOUR FUCKING SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY SHIT, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? FUCK YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO FUCK YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT NIGGERS.
SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT YOU
THAT NUMBER AGAIN IS 1-800-781-7529
THATS ONE EIGHT ZERO ZERO SEVEN EIGHT ONE SEVEN FIVE TWO NINE
CALL NAO!
IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A GODDAMN NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT SHIT AND BUY SIX OF THESE FUCKING AUGERS AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND A POWER DRILL. WHAT IS A POWER DRILL?YOU BEST BE JOKING, NIGGER. THOSE FUCKING DRILLS CAN GIVE YOUR BITCH THE NIGHT OF HER LIFE. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU SHARPEN YOUR FUCKING SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY SHIT, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? FUCK YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO FUCK YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT NIGGERS.
SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT YOU
THAT NUMBER AGAIN IS 1-800-781-7529
THATS ONE EIGHT ZERO ZERO SEVEN EIGHT ONE SEVEN FIVE TWO NINE
CALL NAO!
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KABOOM
2 min read
HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH KABOOM. DO YOU HAVE LOTS OF DIRTY SHIT IN YOUR HOUSE THAT NEEDS ALL CLEANED UP? THEN BUY SOME OF THIS GODDAMN KABOOM. THIS SHIT COULD CLEAN THE WARTS OFF YOUR SISTER'S VAGINA. YOU CAN PUT SOME KABOOM ON YOUR DICK, AND IT'LL GROW THREE INCHES. FUCK.
IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A GODDAMN NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT SHIT AND BUY SIX JUGS OF THIS FUCKING KABOOM AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME GODDAMN ZORBEEZ. WHAT ARE ZORBEEZ? YOU BEST BE JOKING, NIGGER. THOSE FUCKING TOWELS CAN SOAK UP LIKE A GALLON APIECE. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU SHARPEN YOUR FUCKING SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY SHIT, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? FUCK YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO FUCK YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT NIGGERS.
SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT YOU
THAT NUMBER AGAIN IS 1-800-781-7529
THATS ONE EIGHT ZERO ZERO SEVEN EIGHT ONE SEVEN FIVE TWO NINE
CALL NAO!
IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A GODDAMN NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT SHIT AND BUY SIX JUGS OF THIS FUCKING KABOOM AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME GODDAMN ZORBEEZ. WHAT ARE ZORBEEZ? YOU BEST BE JOKING, NIGGER. THOSE FUCKING TOWELS CAN SOAK UP LIKE A GALLON APIECE. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU SHARPEN YOUR FUCKING SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY SHIT, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? FUCK YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO FUCK YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT NIGGERS.
SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT YOU
THAT NUMBER AGAIN IS 1-800-781-7529
THATS ONE EIGHT ZERO ZERO SEVEN EIGHT ONE SEVEN FIVE TWO NINE
CALL NAO!
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BILLY MAYS HERE
1 min read
Brought to you by 
Now a message from Billy Mays himself.
BILLY MAYS HERE FOR OXI-CLEAN. I'VE HEARD A LOT OF SHIT ABOUT THIS PALMOLIVE BULLSHIT, AND I'M HERE TO CLEAR ALL THAT UP. YOU FUCKING NIGGERS KNOW THAT OXI-CLEAN WILL TAKE THE HAIR RIGHT OFF YOUR DOG'S BALLS, LEAVING THE SKIN FRESH AND KISSABLE. OXI-CLEAN MAKES UGLY BITCHES DO-ABLE, AND I PERSONALLY PUT TWO SCOOPS IN MY COFFEE EVERY MORNING. IN CONCLUSION, FUCK YOU. FUCK THAT OLD BITCH. FUCK PALMOLIVE.
Now a message from Billy Mays himself.
BILLY MAYS HERE FOR OXI-CLEAN. I'VE HEARD A LOT OF SHIT ABOUT THIS PALMOLIVE BULLSHIT, AND I'M HERE TO CLEAR ALL THAT UP. YOU FUCKING NIGGERS KNOW THAT OXI-CLEAN WILL TAKE THE HAIR RIGHT OFF YOUR DOG'S BALLS, LEAVING THE SKIN FRESH AND KISSABLE. OXI-CLEAN MAKES UGLY BITCHES DO-ABLE, AND I PERSONALLY PUT TWO SCOOPS IN MY COFFEE EVERY MORNING. IN CONCLUSION, FUCK YOU. FUCK THAT OLD BITCH. FUCK PALMOLIVE.
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